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Notification to All Staff Regarding Language
#1
It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to the complaints of some of the employees, who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With this in mind. the Human Resources section  has compiled a list of code phrase replacements, so the proper exchange o ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive co-workers.
 
OLD PHRASE                                                                                                    NEW PHRASE
No ***** way                                                                                                 I`m fairly sure that is not feasible
You ***** kidding                                                                                           Really
Tell someone who gives a ....                                                                           I have to run that by …………………..
No muppet told me                                                                                                Perhaps I can work late
Who ***** cares                                                                                             Are you sure that`s a problem
Eat s**t and die                                                                                                 You don`t say
Eat s**t and die motherfucker                                                                              You don`t say, Sir
Kiss my ass                                                                                                        So you would like to help me
He`s a ***** prick                                                                                           He`s somewhat insensitive
She`s a bull busting woman                                                                                   She`s an aggressive go getter
You haven`t got a ***** clue                                                                            You could use a little more training
This place is fucked                                                                                            We`re a little disorganised today
What sort of muppet are you                                                                                 You are new here aren`t you
.... off dickhead                                                                                               Well there you go
You`re a ***** wanker                                                                                     You`re my supervisor and I respect you
.... off                                                                                                             I`ll look into it and get back to you
.... off you dickhead                                                                                          I no longer require your assistance
How did you get this piece of s**t to work                                                              Well done
You ***** tosser                                                                                               Gee that was unfortunate
Peter Robinson




07889 038650

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